Dissidia Drabbles
by Expressive Dissonance
Summary: A collection of drabbles. Various pairings, warnings to be provided. Rated M for some mature themes.
1. Purple Helmeted Warriors and Topping

Quiet: Dissidia drabbles from my drabble request thread on Crisis Core Yaoi Forums. Wow....I'm writing for Dissidia! XD

Anyway, the underlined parts are the pairing, and the italicized parts are the prompt.

_

* * *

_

Firion/Cloud  
_...purple helmeted warrior_

_-----  
_

Cloud stared.

Firion fumed.

"You do know that looks like, right?"

"I'm well aware of the connotations of 'purple-helmeted warrior.'" The weaponsmaster was not pleased. That much was plain to see. The others had been giving him strange looks since they'd all awakened to find his trademark bandana helm covered in purple.

Cloud was the only one undaunted by the fierce scowl on their friend's face and brave enough to ask.

One of Firion's mystical weapons twitched inside its scabbard as Firion narrowed his eyes on the group walking ahead of them.

"When I find out who did this, I'll make them _pay_."

"Whatever you say, Warrior of Love."

* * *

Tidus/Cloud:   
_Never would Tidus have anticipated that he would be able to top Cloud._

_-----  
_

Tidus looked down at himself and gaped. "H-holy Cosmos! Did we just…?"

"Yeah."

"And I…?"

"Mhmm." Serene sky blue eyes looked up into alarmed cobalt. "You won fair and square."

"But I-and you-you're _older_ than me!"

"So?"

"And you're like, really really tough, but you let me-"

"Strength has no place in the act of trusting and giving; and I'm no weaker or stronger than yourself. We're all here because Cosmos found us worthy of fighting for the future." His words were serious, but Cloud's mouth was slightly lifted in amusement at the younger blond's apparent confusion. He yawned and arched as best as could under the boy's weight before blinking in a parody of innocence.

"Well kid, are you just gonna sit there all day, or are you gonna claim your prize?"

* * *

Quiet: Might as well story alert it; there's plenty more where this came from!


	2. Behind Closed Doors

Quiet: Mature themes ahead. If I say what, then it'll be ruined.

Kefka/Cloud   
_Shower curtain. :3

* * *

_

"Kefka, have you seen Cloud?"

The man looked up, head tilting as he thought. "No, not lately. I think he was the one to close the shop last night, Sephiroth."

"Hnn," the silver-haired man looked miffed and removed his work hat before hanging it on the little hook. "He might be playing with his little rose boyfriend, but if you see him, tell him that Sephiroth was looking for him; it's unbecoming for one of our employees to disappear without notice for some pleasure trip."

"Alrighty," the other man said, disinterestedly picking at his ear with his pinky. Sephiroth shook his head in disgust and left.

The door of the shop jingled closed, and his eyes rolled up to check and see if the door was closed and locked before he hop-skipped over to slide the curtains down. He giggled to himself, feeling more than a little smug that he had gotten past his manager's keen ears and managed to outright _lie_ to his face.

His laugh was wicked with the faintest edge of true mirth in it—any who heard it would've recognized the madness in the sound. He waltzed over to the enormous deep freezer, loudly humming the victory fanfare tune from some silly little game; it fit perfectly with his triumph after all!

"I do so love a good day," the insane man cackled, opening the fridge door. He grinned at the lumpy shape beneath the cheerful clownfish themed curtain he'd brought from home before reaching in and tugging at it. The body of Cloud Strife, one of their top delivery boys, lolled bonelessly to the floor and Kefka tilted his head, feeling oddly as if something were missing. He reached out and stretched those wide boyish cheeks into the frozen parody of a smile before nodding at his handiwork.

After a moment, he curiously poked the bright yellow spikes that were covered in ice crystals from peeking through the top of the curtain. "Ooooh! That must be_ some_ hair gel, because there's not a spike out of place, kid! Amazing! Stupendous! You simply _must_ tell me what you use!"

He leaned closer to wide, death-glazed blue eyes, his own widening. "Oh, sorry, you'll have to forgive me; I forgot about your little '_problem_,'" he gushed. His hands clapped together and he carefully leaned Cloud against the counter before standing and heading towards the back.

A few minutes later, he returned, arms laden with gasoline cans. "I've always hated this job, you know," he confided.

"Sephiroth with his uppity girly hair, Mateus with his bitchy, bossy attitude, and Jecht with his dysfunctional family issues." He patted a cold shoulder and grinned as he stood and made his way around the store, pouring cans of gasoline all over the place. "I've had to play nice all this time, but in truth, I hatehatehateHateHATE them all!"

Kefka tsked and put his hands on his hips before surveying his handiwork. He'd made a nice trail from the front door to the back, ensuring that the entrances would burn fast and collapse before firetrucks could arrive. The true purpose was of course to burn the body of the pretty little blond that had caught Sephiroth's eye, and the pools of liquid soaking his cold body would ensure that soon enough.

"But don't worry…" The madman leaned down and planted a hard, smacking kiss on the blond's cheek. "You'll be well done!"

* * *

Quiet:.....Kefka is the best villian EVER. /thread


	3. Breaking Them In

Quiet: Warning for....Kefka's insanity?

The prompt:

Kefka/Cloud   
_Sephiroth's little puppet was just so much fun.

* * *

_

Oh he _loved_ being on the winning side!

It was such fun! Destruction, death, pain…and play time was _all_ the time!

After they'd finally triumphed over Cosmos's goody-two-shoes forces, Chaos had taken the world into darkness and left his warriors to do what they wanted with the remains. The Void Witch and the Tin Tree had followed Chaos into the Rift to goggle over their precious Nothingness. Kefka wasn't sure what Golbez and Jecht had done—they had once been on the side of Cosmos after all, but the others had immediately set about squabbling amongst themselves.

The Emperor, fool that he was, had assumed that he would be given power over all of them and had demanded that all the surviving Cosmos counterparts were to be given to him as slaves. Sephiroth had ended that assumption with a well-placed katana to the throat.

He giggled at the memory of shocked eyes and spraying blood—what a wonderful way to go!

Personally, he wouldn't have minded giving the girl to the Emperor, but he'd rather break her himself. And he had, multiple times.

Which left him in his current dilemma.

He was sooooo _bored_ without the little esper witch to torment! It had been fun to tease her when she'd gone feral, but once she'd figured out she was stronger than he was, well, she'd flown the coop so to speak. Her bestial screams were a nice backdrop in the dead world, but now she was off running wild without a leash.

And so, he was out to find himself a new source of entertainment.

Kefka clapped his hands as he entered Sephiroth's usual haunting grounds, only to find the man himself nowhere to be found. Instead, he got to see the blue, blue eyes of Sephy's little puppet glaring at him from across the room.

When the first screams rippled through the emptiness of the Old Chaos Shrine, Kefka's maniacal laughter was sharp on its heels.

Sephiroth's puppet was so much _fun_!

* * *

Quiet: Meh, you guys can give me a few pairings and prompts. Can't guarantee they'll be filled, but if I get more than a few, I'm likely to do some when I get bored.


End file.
